Hello, my name is Dustin, and I am addicted to iPhone games.
I don’t know how it works for most people, but when I download a game, I am unable to stop playing it until I beat it. This is a problem for two reasons.
- Most iPhone games are really long.
- I am terrible at all of them.
Over the last several years, I’ve gotten smarter about downloading these games. For example, I deleted Candy Crush after two hours when I realized the game has 500 levels, forcing me to choose between nine months of colorful candies and my marriage. After the Plants vs. Zombies 2 disaster of 2013, I finally decided to become an iPhone teetotaler, and stopped downloading games all together.
I had been clean for five months, then 2048 happened.
2048, if you are not familiar, is a game in which you slide number tiles around, combining ones that match to add them together until you get to the golden 2048 tile. I realize this does not sound very compelling. Trust me when I tell you that it is more addicting than cocaine.
Crack. Cocaine.
Two weeks ago, I downloaded 2048 and relapsed for 48 hours. It was a harrowing story of addiction, betrayal and despair. This is how it went down.
Curiosity
It all started when Deserae and I visited her parents’ house for Thursday night dinner and I saw my 16-year-old sister-in-law Breanna playing some game on her iPod. I started watching, and even though the game looked like the lamest thing ever, I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
“What is that?”
“2048. It’s soooooo good.”
“Looks boring.”
“You just have to play it. It’s really addicting.”
I knew then I shouldn’t have. But I did. And it was sooooooo good.
I played it for the rest of the night.
Pleasure
I still can’t explain why 2048 is so addicting. So I turned to Google and found out that a lot of other people have the same question. When you type “Why is 2048…” Google finishes your sentence with “…so addicting.” Here’s an explanation I found from a neuroscientist:
2048 directly affects two different ‘dopamine boosters.’ It allows your brain to try and predict your way to success and endless possibilities, and the game itself, while difficult, isn’t exactly an impossible challenge. You’ll be relaxed enough to enjoy it, but even if you fail, you’ll still want to carry on.
Whatever. Just give me another 512.
Dealing
What did Eve do when she ate the forbidden fruit? She gave it to Adam. Driven by this same instinct to share bad things, I told Deserae that she should download 2048.
When we got home from her parents, Deserae and I were supposed to clean the house and pack for a trip. Instead we sat on the couch and played 2048 past our bedtime. You know how crackhouses in TV and movies are portrayed as dark places where thin, pale people just lie around all day, and it’s really sad? I don’t want to say our living room looked exactly like that, but it was close enough to make you look twice.
Anyways, after getting Deserae hooked, I had the following text conversation Friday morning with my sister, Sarah.
Lying
Deserae had beat my high score Thursday, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t top it. So, because I am a proud American, I Googled it and learned the secret of 2048: never swipe down.
I tried this tactic and instantly beat Deserae’s score. I sent her a screenshot and a taunt, then she texted later in the day with a higher score. I volleyed back with an even higher score. She texted, “Are you cheating?” I ignored the text.
I called her on my way home from work, and she repeated the question.
“Are you cheating on 2048?”
“No! How could I cheat?”
“Did you look up how to beat it online?”
“Huh?” (Mini Life Lesson: Never answer an accusation with “Huh?”)
“Did you Google it?”
“Well, kinda, but…”
“I knew it! I knew you would do that! Cheater!”
“It’s not cheating, I just read one thing!”
“Tell me!”
“No.”
“WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER!”
“Fine, just never swipe up.”
“Oh. One of the residents at work told me that.”
“So you cheated too!”
“No. I didn’t ask. There’s a difference.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
The arms race had escalated.
Emptiness
By Saturday evening, I had been playing 2048 for approximately 46 of the last 48 hours. Somehow, I had gotten two 1024 next to each other on the top row, swiped them together and:
That’s it.
That’s what I had been devoting my life to the past two days. And after barely acknowledging my accomplishment, the game continued on like normal. That’s when I realized that nothing would change unless I changed.
Quitting
So I went cold turkey. I deleted the game and my high score off my phone. Shortly thereafter, Deserae got rid of it too.
For a couple days after I deleted it, I turned on my phone to play it, only to realize that it was gone forever. I almost redownloaded it a couple times, but then I saw this Reddit board of people who had not deleted the game. They did not seem to be doing well. The titles of their posts included:
- Can I have a life now???
- Are you too scared of being caught playing 2048 at work? Play it in Excel… and your boss will think you are working the hardest in your life;)
- Finally, I can stop worshipping Satan.
One post, “I am so done with this game,” shared a screenshot of a 131,072 tile. 131,072!
A comment underneath from a user called “hopn” said, “I just finish doing the same, I’ve been playing since Friday, It’s Wednesday morning at 1am. I say I played about 30 hours? Give or take some. I’m going to go for max board.”
Hopn, as a fellow addict, I would encourage you to skip the max board and come to our next meeting. We have cookies.
LIFE LESSON #15
Just say no to 2048.