Last week, I shared one of my most embarrassing stories – my decision to blow hundreds of dollars on a product from China to sell on eBay based on a tip I received from a free e-book. This week: the consequences of that decision.

At the end of last week’s story, I finally decided that maybe doing some research before engaging in international trade would be a good idea. My research revealed that I was an idiot. I emailed my supplier to inform him that I would be cancelling my order, and he emailed back to inform me that, too bad, my order was already on the boat. It felt like that moment in a movie where the hero learns the villain has hidden a biological weapon on a ship headed to America and there’s nothing he can do about it.

I screamed from the office. Deserae came to check on me. When I told her what happened, she screamed too.

I immediately started searching for a company that could help get the greenhouses into the country without getting me arrested (a task that is trickier than you’d think if you hadn’t done any research). I settled on C.H. Robinson. Their main qualification was that they were three minutes from my house.

I gave them a call. “Hi, I have a product coming to me from China, and I did not realize that there were so many steps to getting it into the country. Can you help me?”

“No problem, we’ll just need to get some information from you. What’s your company name?”

“I don’t have one. I was just going to sell under my own name.”

“Hm. OK. Who did you designate as the receiving agent?”

“Um, I don’t think there is one.”

“What do you mean? There has to be a receiving agent.”

“I REALLY did not realize there were so many steps to getting it in the country.”

We finally decided that I should probably meet with someone in the office to discuss my unique situation. In the office, I talked to four different people who all initially looked at me like “is this the new intern?” before getting to Heather. Heather was super nice to me and my $500 shipment, despite the fact that all of her other clients were shipping millions of dollars of goods into the country.

Working through all the customs forms and paying Heather $500 on top of my $500 shipment was tough, but not as tough as the next part – telling Deserae’s parents.

To this point, I had been able to limit the people who knew about my adventure to me, Deserae and my Chinese supplier Wu. Unfortunately, none of us had a vehicle big enough to transport the greenhouses from the warehouse to my garage. To get my stupid greenhouses to their final destination, I had to enlist the help of Deserae’s parents and their minivan. One night when we were over their house for dinner, I finally worked up the courage to ask.

“Uhhh, so this is kind of funny, but I bought a bunch of greenhouses from China to sell on eBay and now they’re here and do you think you could let me use the van to pick them up?”

Deserae’s dad put down his fork. “What?!”

A week later, I picked up the greenhouses with Deserae’s dad and hid them in my garage where no one else would find them. By this time, I’d weighed all my options and knew what I had to do. The sentence for my crime of blowing $1,000 on a get-rich-quick scheme would be six months in Craigslist Asylum.

I’ve bought and sold a few things on Craigslist in my life, and each time I’ve sworn it would be the last. I think the fastest way to create a list of all the crazies in your town is to post something cheap on Craigslist and print a copy of your call records.

The fastest way to create a list of all the crazies in your town is to post something cheap on Craigslist and print a copy of your call records.

Unfortunately, because the boxes were heavy and I’d already spent $1,000 to get them, my only hope of breaking even was trying to sell ten greenhouses in the middle of winter to Northeast Ohio’s murderers, con artists and mentally unstable.

How did things go? Let’s take a look at some of the emails I received.

9/16/13

I will give you $50.

9/30/13

Trade 4 gas grill…lightly used.

10/4/13

I want you to consider it sold, pls do withdraw the advert from craigslist to avoid disturbance.I want you to know that i will be paying via bank Cashier check .I will like you to provide me with the following. information to facilitate the mailing of the check to you .

1…..Full name to write on the check
2…..Full Physical address to post the check(Not p.o box)
4…..Home& Cell Phone to contact you
5…..Exactly total amount

10/10/13

Trade? I have a blue light bar (cop lights). They look sweet on my mud truck. It’s the older style that rotate. Or I have a paragon high temp ceramics kiln, nice size with a few molds if you wanna try that.

10/21/13

Is the greenhouse still available?

Yes.

I will give you $40

Looking for full price, sorry.

$60. Work with me

The lowest I’d do is $90.

U can go lower

Actually I can’t. I bought these to sell on eBay without realizing how much they would cost to ship, and by the time they got to me, I ended up paying $1,000 for 10 of them. Let me know if you’re still interested.

If thats true your not very smart.        

Finally on November 4, I talked to someone willing to pay full price in actual U.S. currency for the greenhouse. The next evening, I squeezed the box into the backseat of my car and pulled into the parking lot of the Friendly’s restaurant near my house (“If you think Craigslist people are coming to my house, you’re crazy.” – Deserae Brady). I waited in the rain for a green Explorer.

After a few minutes, one pulled in and out stepped a 60-year-old man who looked like he’d committed his share of Craigslist murders.

I got nervous, so I did that thing where you just ramble for 30 seconds without punctuation. “Hey glad you found it so here’s the greenhouse it came in the cardboard box straight from the manufacturer like that so everything should be good to go I can help you load it into your car I don’t know if you need to clear anything out of the way but it’s smaller than you would think it’s pretty heavy too since it has steel rods instead of aluminum.”

He mumbled an “mmhmm,” handed me a $100 bill and grabbed the greenhouse by himself.

“OK thanks I think it should work out well for you let me know…”

He got in the car and drove away.

It was the closest I’d ever come to a drug transaction.

Throughout the winter, I conducted many similar transactions in the dark Friendly’s parking lot. Finally, on March 19, 2014, almost 10 months after I had downloaded the free e-book, I sent the following text to Deserae:

“NO MORE GREENHOUSES WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!”

Breaking even never felt so good.

LIFE LESSON #77

Try to get rich quick, and you’ll break even slowly and painfully.