As a homeowner, I pay thousands of dollars in taxes to my city throughout the year for things like police, fire, schools and garbage removal. Every couple of years, the city asks for a little more money. “We’re running out of money!” they say. “If you don’t give us more money, we’ll have to fire most of the police officers, then all the criminals will know about the city that has no police officers, and they will rob your house over and over again.
So I give them more money, and they say, “Thanks, we won’t fire the police officers now!” And then they spend it all on fireworks.
I was thinking about this as I was watching my city’s fireworks last week. As far as small-town fireworks go, they were pretty good. They lasted for like 25 minutes, and there was an extended grand finale, where they shot off a bunch of fireworks and stopped for a few seconds and everyone started clapping, then they were like, WAIT THERE’S MORE, and then they shot off a lot more.
It was impossible for me to watch the display without imagining little wads of my cash shooting into the air and exploding into a million pieces.
Do you know who wasn’t thinking about any of this? My wife, who was sitting next to me. She was too busy freaking out at the bonus finale. “YOU THINK THEY’RE DONE, BUT THEY’RE NOT!”
Deserae loves fireworks. And not just like, “Oh yeah, fireworks are my favorite part of July Fourth.” It’s more like, “Did you know that if you time things right, you can go to five different fireworks shows in one week?!”
Deserae LOVES fireworks.
I discovered this the first year I started dating her. We went to a fireworks show the weekend before the Fourth of July. Like most people, I am a passive firework watcher. I traditionally lie on a blanket and eat popcorn. Not Deserae. She brought chairs and sat on the edge of hers the whole time.
“Ooooooh, pom-poms!”
“What?”
“Pom-poms! That was a pom-pom firework!”
“Oh. I don’t really…”
“Awwwwwwww, waterfall! Awwwwwww!”
“I hope they do an… Ah! Orbity! Did you see that! It’s an orbity!!”
I was super confused the whole time, but Deserae seemed really happy, which made me really happy. It was the most fun I’d ever had watching fireworks.
Then the next day, she caught me off guard. “Did you know Brook Park is having fireworks tonight?”
“No…”
“DO YOU WANNA GO?!”
“Even though we just went last night?”
“Yeah!”
We went again. This time, I watched Deserae more than the fireworks, and she was possibly even more into it than she was the previous night.
Then we went a couple more times. By the end of the summer, I had essentially doubled the number of fireworks I’d seen in my lifetime.
By the end of the summer, I had essentially doubled the number of fireworks I’d seen in my lifetime.
I quickly realized that I was dating one of those people who follow their favorite band to every stop on a tour. Like the concertgoers, she yelled for her favorites every time. She cheered the loudest when the fireworks left the stage, then again when they came back for the encore.
She sang along with every song that accompanied these displays (There are like 10 that every city uses.)
“If tomorrow all the things were gone I’d worked for all my life, and I had to start again with just my children and my wife. I love this song, Dustin. I LOVE THIS SONG.”
And then, during the finale:
“BABY YOU’RE A FIIIIIIIIIREWORK! COME ON LET YOUR COLORS BURST! Something something OH OH OH! Something something OH OH OH!” (These are the only words Deserae will ever know to this song.)
I found the whole thing really charming. The fireworks showed me that when Deserae likes something, she likes it a lot. Which was great, because she liked me. It also made it easy to give her the best day ever.
“Aw, that was such a great meal, and now we’re walking in the park, and this is so romantic, and I love it!”
“I’m glad you liked it.”
“I can’t believe all these people are still out.”
BOOM!
Wait was that a… was that a firework?”
“Surprise, they’re having fireworks tonight!”
“THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!”
We dated several more years, then we got married, and then just like a lot of things people find charming at the beginning of a relationship, the fireworks started to lose their luster for me.
Driving in circles, looking a parking spot.
Carrying folding chairs for a mile.
The obnoxious guy selling glow sticks.
The mosquitoes.
The traffic.
The crowds.
And instead of looking for fireworks displays, I’d look for ways to avoid them.
Then, last week during Middleburg Heights Home Days, while I was thinking about my tax dollars, I looked over at my wife. Even after hundreds of fireworks displays, she was cheering harder than ever for the encore. And she looked really hot doing it.
I remembered all the things I loved about that first summer. And then I decided, you know what? I really like seeing my wife happy. And if the only thing I need to do that is a free fireworks display, I’m a pretty lucky guy.
LIFE LESSON #22
Some people are worth the firework tax.